


Lady of War

by chick_with_wifi



Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ancient China, F/F, Taoism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:20:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 21,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27875970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chick_with_wifi/pseuds/chick_with_wifi
Summary: What if Xena had stayed with Lao Ma in Qin? As Xena searches for inner peace, Lao Ma makes plans for her warrior princess to help her run the Kingdom of Lao.
Relationships: (in flashbacks) - Relationship, Borias/Xena, Xena/Lao Ma
Comments: 6
Kudos: 8





	1. Soft as water

"Stop, Xena, just stop," Lao Ma said as she crouched in front of Borias, shielding him from Xena's rage. "Stop willing, stop desiring, stop hating."

The smirk slid off Xena's face as she saw the sincerity in Lao Ma's eyes. Was it actually possible for her to do that? Could she let go of this anger that had been with her for so long, bury her hatred and find some kind of peace? She had come close these last few days with Lao Ma, but it had never felt like something permanent.

As she hesitated, Lao Ma and Borias both climbed to their feet. Xena kept looking at Lao Ma and with every passing second of indecision, her anger slipped further away. The relief almost moved her to tears and she realised that she didn't remember the last time she had truly cried.

"Alright," she whispered. Then cleared her throat and said at a normal volume, "Alright, Lao Ma, I'll try it your way."

Lao Ma smiled and came over to take both of Xena's hands in hers. "I'm so pleased you said that."

"Me too," Xena replied, even though she almost couldn't believe it. As she saw Borias out of the corner of her eye, she bit her bottom lip. "Could I have a moment alone with Borias?" At Lao Ma's hesitation she added, "Promise I won't beat the snot out of him while you're gone."

Lao Ma released Xena's hands and nodded. "Very well. I'll give you two a chance to make your peace, then we can discuss how best to proceed."

Once they were alone, Xena turned to Borias who was watching her with raised eyebrows.

"Lao Ma must have some incredible powers, to inspire such a change in you," he said.

"You could say that." Xena glanced back at the orange scarf on the floor and couldn't suppress a small smile at the memory of flying.

He laughed. "I had wondered how she defeated you back at the camp."

She looked back at him sharply and folded her arms. "Well I wasn't exactly in fighting shape back then."

He gestured to her legs. "But I see Lao Ma has helped you with that too."

"Yeah." She looked down, then quickly continued before he could say anything further. "Listen, Borias, we haven't always been good for each other." She bit the inside of her cheek. By the Gods this was hard to say. "I was in a bad place when we met and only cared about making the rest of the world suffer as much as I had. But now…" She trailed off, then said firmly, "I'm going to stay here with Lao Ma."

Borias nodded slowly. "I understand." He smirked. "You know, she probably wants you to apologise for beating me up."

"Not a chance," Xena snapped. "You deserved it, selling me out to be hunted for sport."

She remembered how helpless she'd felt as she stumbled over fallen branches with the hounds' barking getting closer, followed by the distant shouts of Ming Tzu. Her temper flared and she clenched her hands into fists so tightly that her nails dug into her palms.

No. This wasn't right. She was supposed to be letting go of her anger. Instead, her every muscle was clenched with a fury that threatened to overflow at any second.

"I can't do this." She ran out of the room, then skidded to a stop when she almost crashed into Lao Ma in the hallway.

"Careful, Xena." Lao Ma held her at arm's length, checking her over with a worried frown. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah." She pulled her sleeves over her hands and clenched the fabric. "But the whole 'stop hating' thing isn't working out right now."

"I see." Lao Ma caressed Xena's arm. "But that's understandable. You and Borias have a lot of history. Xena, this path isn't an easy one. It will take a long time and much work to gain complete control."

Xena released her sleeves and straightened them out. "You really think I can do it?"

"Oh yes. Like I said, you're a remarkable woman. I can see that the challenges you've already faced may have led you astray, but they haven't broken your spirit."

Xena nodded once. "Right, because you can see into my soul."

"That was something of an overstatement, I'll admit, as it was the easiest way to explain it to you at the time. But I am good at understanding people." She put both hands on Xena's shoulders. "This path will help you, if you let it."

Xena looked away and blinked. "Was it hard for you?"

A carefully neutral expression fell over Lao Ma's face and she retracted her hands. "Yes."

Footsteps came from behind her and Xena turned to see Borias. He was hovering cautiously just outside the doorway and this time she found that she wasn't angry. In fact he looked so out of place, she wondered how she had ever thought him a threat here.

"Excuse me," he said as he looked between the two women. "Xena had been gone a while, and I wanted to make sure she was alright."

"I'm fine," she said abruptly. "You can speak to me directly, Borias."

"My apologies, Xena." He bowed his head, the picture of diplomacy.

Lao Ma stepped forward. "We were going to come to you soon anyway, Borias. There's a lot we need to discuss before we meet with Ming Tzu tomorrow."

"Ming Tzu again?" Xena asked incredulously. "Didn't I deal with him already?"

"Following the Way is an ongoing process," Lao Ma said. "And anyway, it isn't always about you, Xena. Ming Tzu may be your enemy, but he is also our closest neighbour and a very influential man. Now that your kidnapping Ming Tien has brought our kingdoms closer, it's the perfect time to include him in a three-way alliance with us and Borias."

Xena fought the urge to groan. "You don't want me to play servant again, do you?"

"Not this time." Lao Ma smiled. "I want you to be yourself."

"Normally I'd be all for that, but isn't it better if Ming thinks I'm dead? After all, that's how he wants me."

"I plan to inform Ming Tzu of your presence. He has to accept that. You're going to help me run the Kingdom of Lao. You'll be my warrior princess."

Xena grinned. "I like the sound of that. I hope it catches on."

"I have a feeling it will," Lao Ma said. Then she clapped her hands together. "Now, here is my plan for tomorrow..."

-

In preparation for the Mings' visit, Xena wore the same purple dress as before but this time requested for her hair to be left loose. Everything about her life was changing so quickly that she wanted this small reminder of her old self.

Lao Ma had agreed without comment and slid the broach into Xena's hair, to hold it out of her face. Remembering what Lao Ma could do with this accessory, Xena wondered if it was a test of her resolve not to kill Ming Tzu.

Resolve that was challenged almost immediately when the head of the house of Ming entered Lao Ma's palace, with Ming Tien trailing behind him. Xena and Borias were standing on either side of Lao Ma, who graciously bowed her head in greeting.

As soon as Ming laid eyes on Xena, he wrinkled his nose in disgust. Whether he recognised her because of her hair or because she wasn't kneeling like a servant this time, Xena wasn't sure.

"What is this barbarian doing alive?" he demanded. "And here?" he added as an afterthought.

He looked exactly how he had while releasing Xena from the cage, explaining to his son that she would get a head start before they set the hounds on her trail. But that wasn't important now, she reminded herself fiercely. They had a plan to carry out.

"Ming Tzu," Lao Ma began calmly, stepping forward. For a second her eyes flicked towards Ming Tien, but Xena was certain nobody else noticed this. "I was fortunate enough to save Xena. She's a member of my court now."

" _Your_ court, Lao Ma?"

She lowered her eyes. "My husband's court. It is with his blessing that I offer you this opportunity for a mutually beneficial alliance."

Ming prompted, "I'm listening."

Lao Ma beckoned Borias forward. "On one condition, I'm willing to offer you an alliance with the Kingdom of Lao and with Borias, who will accept a small fee from each of us to leave Qin forever."

"None of my Huns will enter this land again," Borias added. "Provided you are generous."

"I see." Ming drew himself up to his full height. "Let me guess, your one condition is that I forgive Xena."

"That's right," Lao Ma said.

"If you expect me to forgive the woman that kidnapped my son, then permit me to point out the detail that perhaps you missed. Xena belongs to me. She's my property."

"Ming Tzu, I know a man of your wisdom wouldn't endanger an important treaty by... holding a grudge."

"To have the treaty, I must forgive her?" Ming demanded.

Lao Ma nodded. 

"Then I apologize for wasting your time." He turned, beckoning his son. "Ming Tien, let us go."

"And I apologize for giving you the impression you had a choice in the matter." Lao Ma's voice remained soft but her tone was hard.

Ming Tzu abruptly stopped walking and turned his head. "Excuse me?"

Xena's gaze flicked between the two, hardly daring to breathe in case she disturbed the weighted silence.

Lao Ma continued, "I meant it when I said Xena is a member of my court. I have appointed her as the Kingdom of Lao's military advisor - my warrior princess."

The previous night, Lao Ma had explained to Xena and Borias that giving Xena an official position (ostensibly under Lao Tzu) would override any possible claim Ming Tzu had on her.

Clearly he understood this as well, if the glare he gave Lao Ma was any indication.

"This treaty will also include a clause that our kingdoms may not be permitted to harm each other in any way," Lao Ma added. It was as much for her benefit as his - the implication being that if he didn't sign then both Lao's army and Borias's would ally to attack Ming.

Ming Tzu considered it silently, while Ming Tien watched the proceedings with wide eyes. His jaw was set and his glare was fixed on the wall opposite. "Very well," he said as though the words physically pained him. "I will sign your treaty."

With a satisfied nod, Lao Ma held out the bamboo scroll and ink brush.

As Ming stepped closer to take it, he whispered, "Be careful around that woman. She's dangerous." Holding the scroll with one hand, he signed his name at the bottom.

"Not to me," Lao Ma replied quietly. She quickly glanced at his signature then rolled up the scroll. "Thank you, Ming Tzu."

Next to Xena, Borias caught her eye and raised his eyebrows as he indicated with his head to Lao Ma. Xena ignored him.

"I'll be in contact with you later," Lao Ma told Ming. "Now that we're officially allied, it would be best to keep up correspondence." She smiled at the young boy. "Goodbye, Ming Tien."

Ming quickly put an arm around his son to lead him out of the room and said over his shoulder, "Goodbye, Lao Ma." 

Once they had gone, Lao Ma exhaled and massaged her temples.

"I'd say that was successful," Xena commented. She chuckled. "He really didn't want to sign that treaty."

"Yes. At one point I wasn't sure our two kingdoms would ever ally," Lao Ma admitted. "But now we're one step closer to peace in Qin."

-

When she heard Borias had received the gold he was promised, Xena borrowed one of Lao's horses and rode over to his camp north of the Great Wall.

Since their place was on the road, she knew the nomads would be moving on quickly and wanted to see them before they left. In a way, she was going to miss them. Even in her feral post-crucifixion rage, she had appreciated finding an army in which a woman with broken legs could be respected as a formidable warrior.

She spotted Borias counting the coins in a bag of gold as he sat on his horse near the outskirts of the group, the rest of whom were saddling their horses or packing up yurts, and rode up behind him. "Where are you off to next?" she asked, smiling to herself when he started at the sound of her voice.

He turned his horse to face her. "We'll continue East, to the Land of the Rising Sun. I hear there are plenty of powerful people there, who we may be able to make arrangements with."

Xena nodded, smirking. "I bet you're glad to be rid of me, since I won't be around to muck up all your alliances."

"That's right," he said. He put the pouch of gold away in his saddle bag, then looked up at her. "Did you come to say goodbye?"

"No," she scoffed. "I came to tell you that if your travels ever take you to Thrace, don't even think about raiding Amphipolis. And watch out for Julius Caesar in Rome. He has some big ideas about his destiny and he's just arrogant enough to put them in motion."

"I see," he said. "If this is your way of wishing me well on my journey-"

"It's not."

"- then I'll take it." He paused. "Xena, I hope you find what you're looking for here."

She looked at him, suddenly feeling tightness in her throat, then held out her hand. He clasped her forearm and she clasped his back, nodding firmly.

Then he clicked his tongue and pulled the reins of his horse, motioning for Chuang to get everyone ready. There was an immediate flurry of movement as they all secured their bags and mounted their horses, in preparation for Borias to lead the way.

As he rode off, Xena whispered, "Goodbye, Borias."

-

That evening, Xena and Lao Ma sat down for their meal. The table had been prepared in the main room and they knelt opposite each other on the floor.

"You did well today," Lao Ma said as she picked up a piece of vegetable with her chopsticks.

"As did you." Xena grinned. "I liked how you dealt with Ming Tzu."

Lao Ma pursed her lips. "I would have preferred to avoid such tactics. But sometimes he makes diplomacy impossible."

"You gotta do what you gotta do," Xena said with a shrug.

"Yes," Lao Ma pondered. "For all things, there is a time to go ahead and a time to follow behind." 

"Ah, more of your wisdom. I hope you wrote that one down in your book."

"Of course I did."

Xena hesitated. "Could I maybe read it someday?"

Lao Ma glanced up. "I'd be honored."

Xena nodded, then continued eating in silence. Her mind began to wander, considering if she could ever achieve her mentor's level of serenity. Already she was feeling more peaceful, but she wasn't sure she could surrender entirely to following the Way.

And her role as military adviser intrigued her. Wouldn't it be better to avoid war, since it was so ingrained in her past? Could she even do that? Yet her purpose was different now. She wasn't serving her own will, she was helping Lao Ma serve Qin. And Lao Ma seemed confident in what she was doing.

"So what's next?" Xena asked.

"Now your last ties to your old life have gone, you can have a few days to adjust before we move on," Lao Ma said.

"That's alright, but I was kinda hoping to get to the stage where I blow things up with my mind."

"You'll never get there if you continue thinking like that." Lao Ma put down her chopsticks and wiped her hands on her napkin. "Let me phrase it another way. Your task over the next few days is to silence your mind and just be. Be in the moment, be in your body. Few things under heaven are as instructive as the lessons of silence. Can you do that for me?"

"I can," Xena said quietly. "For you."

Lao Ma smiled and it made Xena's chest flutter in a way she had never experienced before. With Borias, much like with Caesar, it had been about lust, power and conquest. Love wasn't something she'd been capable of. Perhaps she could have experienced it with M'Lila if they'd had more time, but she would never know.

And now she was starting to understand.

-

True to her word, the next day Xena searched the palace for a quiet area to practice 'just being'.

She chose the room in which Lao Ma had first demonstrated her abilities by breaking the bottle, and walked over to the window. She rested her elbows on the window ledge and looked out at the garden.

_Heaven endures and the Earth lasts a long time because they do not live for themselves. Therefore, she would live a long time should live for others. Serve others._

The garden was so tranquil. This must be what Lao Ma meant. Nature didn't have anything to prove or care what others thought. It simply existed in harmony with the rest of the world, nourishing the Earth.

It was the complete opposite of how Xena had lived most of her life up until that point. During her early days as a pirate, she'd told herself she was serving Amphipolis. But every time she reached for that excuse, it had retreated further to the back of her mind. Shortly after that, nothing but her blind and ruthless will remained.

Following the Way was different, yes, but it was exactly what she needed. To change her mindset, she had to change her life.

Xena moved to the centre of the room, then closed her eyes and began slowly stretching out her arms. She performed a controlled version of her combat moves. Be present, Lao Ma had said. She tried to empty her mind and focus on her breathing as she moved. In the distance she could hear the rhythmic flowing of the garden waterfall.

In, out. Raise hand. Turn. In, out. Raise leg.

Xena's arm shot out and pinned the intruder to the wall by their throat, responding instinctively to their unexpected footsteps.

"Good reflexes," came Lao Ma's strained voice. "Although I'd prefer if they weren't aimed at me."

Xena opened her eyes, noting Lao Ma's frown, and sheepishly retracted her hand. "Sorry."

Lao Ma straightened her sleeves. "It's alright, Xena." She touched her arm. "I'm pleased to see you're taking my advice. Would you like to try this together?"

Xena shrugged. "Sure."

Once again they stood in front of the window and Lao Ma, with her usual calm focus, led them through a series of movements. It was easy for Xena to copy and she soon found herself drifting back into a state of peace.

Her mind was silent, with nothing but the waterfall in the background and the gentle rustle of their clothing, until those sounds blended into an echoing, distorted voice - "Break her legs!"

Pain erupted in her legs and she screamed, collapsing on the floor as memories flooded through her mind with dizzying intensity. 

Helpless on the cross, waiting for death and hoping it would be a kindness, as she struggled to breathe through pain so bad that she would have sold her soul to Mephistopheles to make it stop.

She saw her only friend M'Lila dying in her arms, having taken an arrow that was meant for her and giving her one last smile, as she watched helplessly.

"No," she whispered, digging her nails into her scalp, desperate to feel something, anything other than this. She felt gentle arms embrace her from behind and pull her hands away.

"Don't fight it, Xena," Lao Ma said softly, stroking her hair. "To follow this path, you have to accept your past and make peace with it. Acknowledge that your hardships have made you who you are."

Memories kept coming. The look on her mother's face as she slapped her, accusing her of causing Lyceus's death. Lyceus, her beloved brother, slipping away as she desperately tried to treat his wound. Cortese's men slaughtering the neighbours she'd grown up with and known all her life.

"It's alright," Lao Ma whispered.

Then the images changed. She saw herself slitting the throat of Cortese's soldier, her first kill. Plunging her sword into any member of Ming's army that came near her. Decapitating one as he retreated, begging for his life.

The visions faded, leaving her helpless on the floor, with nothing but the memories of a life that had fallen apart around her. "Why?" she choked out. She wasn't sure what she meant. Why am I seeing this? Or why did this happen?

Lao Ma helped her sit up and rubbed her back. "To follow the Way, you can't fight or ignore your past. When a great wound is healed, there will still remain a scar. Everything happens for a reason."

"What possible reason could the Gods have for taking good people like Lyceus and M'Lila?"

"Your gods work in mysterious ways. Surely it would be best now to honor their memories by fighting for good?"

Xena hesitated. "M'Lila said, when she rescued me from the cross, that it wasn't my time to die. I didn't know what she meant, but she gave her life for mine…" She pounded her fist on the floor. "- and look what I've done with it! I'm more of a murderer than I was before I met her." She wiped her eyes furiously. "And Lyceus? He died defending our village and now I've lost count of the villages I destroyed."

"But you have changed."

Xena scoffed and got to her feet. "Have I? Or am I just waiting until something else happens to pull me back into who I used to be?"

"You've changed," Lao Ma said firmly, as she stood also. "I can see it already. By following the Way and defending the people of Qin, you can honor them and make sure their sacrifices weren't for nothing."

"And what about all the people I've hurt?" Xena began pacing the room and ran a hand through her hair. "How can I even begin to atone for something like that?"

Lao Ma approached her and put a hand on Xena's shoulder, forcing her to stop. "Now that you know evil, _were_ evil, you can fight evil. Xena, your knowledge isn't wasted and the best thing you can do for the world is to do good now. It isn't a case of trying to even the scales, but of doing the right thing for its own sake."

Xena hesitated, then laughed sadly. "Maybe the Gods really do work in mysterious ways. I suppose I wouldn't be doing this if I hadn't lived the life I have." She sighed. "But I've still got a long way to go."

Lao Ma took her hand. "And I'll be here to support you the whole way." 

"Thank you, Lao Ma." Xena hugged her.

-

When Xena woke up, she felt a lock of hair stuck to her face with something damp. As she brushed it away, she noticed both her cheeks were wet. Strange. She'd never cried in her sleep before.

Vestiges of her dream were still hovering at the edge of her mind, but not with enough clarity to make sense of them. All she felt was a vague sense of sadness and loss.

Getting out of bed, she slid out of her sleeping shift and into a plain purple dress with a sash at the waist. Then she brushed her hair and considered putting a broach in it, but decided to leave it loose.

She went to check the bedroom next door, but Lao Ma wasn't there. Nor was she at breakfast, so Xena ate alone while trying not to wonder where Lao Ma was. As the ruler of her kingdom, she was a busy woman and it wasn't Xena's place to be bothering her.

When she was finished eating, she decided to go for a walk in the gardens. Hopefully the exercise and fresh air would clear her mind. 

The air outside held a faint chill that raised goosebumps on her arms as she walked past the waterfall. Eventually she came to a stop near the pond, then sat on the ground with her feet underneath her.

There was a collection of small rocks bordering the pond, and she focused on one of them while trying to silence her will. She reached for the state of calmness, like she had the day before, and turned her attention to the rock.

Nothing happened. Not even a tiny movement. 

Maybe she just needed to try again. She closed her eyes, getting comfortable, and controlled her breathing. Be at one with Heaven and Earth. Quiet and peaceful. She opened her eyes and looked directly at the rock. 

Still nothing.

She scrambled to her feet and violently kicked the rock into the water, making a splash that caught the bottom of her dress. The water rippled and churned, echoing the sudden anger that had risen in Xena.

As she continued to watch, the ripples smoothed and the water went back to being calm. Mirroring how the frustration was leaving her as quickly as it had come.

But the rock is still under there, she thought bitterly. It's now part of the pond. It might look as it did before, but it’s forever changed.

She stood there for another few seconds, noting how the sunlight reflected off the surface of the water, then went back inside to look for Lao Ma.

She eventually found her in the bath, the same hot tub where she had hidden Xena from Ming Tzu what felt like so long ago.

Lao Ma looked up at the sound of her footsteps and watched her with an unreadable expression.

Xena hesitated in the doorway and shuffled her feet. "Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. I just hadn't seen you all day."

"I don't mind." Lao Ma gestured to the side of the bath. "Why don't you come and sit with me?"

Xena came over and sat on the edge of the tub. "Would you like me to wash your hair?"

"Please." Lao Ma gathered her hair and pushed it back over her shoulders.

Xena held the jug under the water to fill it, then poured it over Lao Ma's hair. Once it was wet, she slowly worked the product into it. Her thoughts drifted to her first day there, when Lao Ma had kissed her in that tub. She wondered if Lao Ma had enjoyed it as much as she had - or probably more, since she wasn't the one almost running out of air.

As she rinsed out the product and combed the hair with her fingers to ensure she had gotten all of it, she felt a tense back muscle under her fingertips. Subconsciously, she began to massage it and Lao Ma made a small sound of relief.

Xena smiled. That had probably been bothering her for a while.

"That feels wonderful," Lao Ma said. "Where did you learn it?"

"I have many skills," Xena replied. With the muscle now relaxed, she continued the backrub and slowly worked her way up to a shoulder massage.

When she felt movement under her hands, she saw Lao Ma had turned around and was reaching to cup Xena's face with her hands. Then she leaned in and kissed her, slow and gentle. Xena kissed her back, putting a hand on her shoulder to steady herself.

As they pulled away, Xena realised the ends of her hair and sleeve were trailing in the water. "Guess I might as well join you now, huh?"

"I don't see why not," Lao Ma said with a smile.

Xena took off her dress, not making any attempt to hide her body, and slipped into the warm water.

She lay back and closed her eyes, enjoying the flowery scent of the bath oil. A few moments later, she opened her eyes again and began washing herself with the soap.

Lao Ma clipped up her hair so it could begin drying, then motioned for Xena to turn around. "Here, now I'll do yours."

Xena turned and tilted her head back as Lao Ma poured the water. Relaxing into Lao Ma's gentle touch, she lifted up one hand and watched the water drip through her fingers. She flicked her wrist and the droplets cascaded across the bathtub in a perfect arc. 

The water rippled and churned once more, but this time Lao Ma's words echoed in her mind. _Nothing is soft as water, but who can withstand the raging flood?_

-

Although the promised few days weren't quite up, the next afternoon Xena was called upon for the first time to perform her duties as Military Advisor to the Kingdom of Lao.

She was in her room going through some practice combat moves when one of the maids, Cai Lan, knocked on the door and explained that Lao Ma needed her urgently in the throne room.

Immediately, Xena stopped what she was doing and was escorted there by Cai Lan, who waited by the doorway and nodded for Xena to go in.

As she entered, she saw Lao Ma seated on the throne at the far end of the room and giving her usual speech about how her husband was very ill and his insignificant wife was dealing with important affairs. Initially Xena had been surprised by how few times she heard that speech. It seemed a lot of people knew Lao Ma was the one really running the show.

On her way past him, Xena scrutinized the visitor. He was wearing full armor and standing with his head slightly bowed, giving Lao Ma his full attention. She didn't immediately recognise his style of dress, but it seemed familiar.

Xena ascended the steps up to the dais and went to stand next to Lao Ma, who said, "This is my military advisor - Xena of Amphipolis."

The visitor raised his head and looked between the two of them. "A Greek woman?"

"I'm Thracian actually," Xena interjected. "But my allegiance lies with the House of Lao."

"I see." The visitor cleared his throat. "I'm Palacus of the Scythians. I have come to propose a deal."

"Yes?" Lao Ma said.

"If your army joins mine in attacking the Kingdom of Ming, we will form a profitable trade agreement with your kingdom. My Scythians are great hunters and pick up many rare items on our travels."

Lao Ma watched him carefully. "May I have a moment to consult my advisor?"

"As you wish." He nodded to them, then left the room.

Lao Ma turned to her. "What do you think, Xena?"

Xena folded her arms. "I think his offer sounds simple enough, but we don't have a whole lot to gain from it or any reason to trust him. Borias and I had a similar offer, and believe me we had no intention of keeping our word."

"Things are different now. We're allied with Ming, remember?"

Xena drummed her fingers on her arm. "In that case, I think we should side with Ming Tzu against a common enemy. And if we attack the Scythians first, it'll show the whole world that the Kingdom of Lao isn't to be messed with."

Lao Ma arched an eyebrow. "Attack first?"

"Well, he doesn't really want a trade agreement. He wants to attack us. You heard what he said. He wants our assistance in fighting Ming - meaning he's deliberately trying to drive a wedge between us because he doesn't think he can take both of us on at once. And if we've lost men in the fight against Ming, it'll be easier for him to turn on us."

"The Scythians are known to be exceptional fighters, this strategy of his seems hardly necessary."

"Ah, but there's the Great Wall. Their whole army can't gallop straight into Qin and take us by force, so they need a way to either get in or draw us out. That's why Borias and I had to get you both to negotiate. Well, that and he just likes making treaties."

"Yes," Lao Ma said slowly. "You're right. We should take this opportunity to reinforce our alliance with Ming Tzu." She addressed Cai Lan, "Please bring Palacus back in."

Cai Lan nodded, and returned a moment later followed by the Scythian. Xena leaned against Lao Ma's throne.

"What is your decision, my lady?" he asked.

Lao Ma spoke calmly. "I appreciate your offer, but as we are allied with the Kingdom of Ming, we feel it would not be in our interests to attack them."

Palacus blinked. "Allied? But I heard Ming and Lao were always great enemies."

"Many things have changed recently." She lowered her head. "Thank you for your time, Palacus."

He bowed. "Thank you, my lady. I only regret that we couldn't come to a more profitable agreement."

Once he had taken his leave, Xena raised her eyebrows at Lao Ma.

"It's not over yet," Lao Ma said grimly.

"Let me guess, he's gone to make the exact same offer to Ming - who won't be in any hurry to honor our alliance, since he hates us both."

"Exactly. You truly have the mind of a strategist, Xena."

"Well, you don't make it far in my line of work without knowing how your enemy thinks."

"And what do you suppose Palacus is thinking now?"

"He'll make a successful deal with Ming Tzu, assume we won't know, and both armies will attack us. Or he might cut out the middleman and attack Ming directly, then turn on us."

"Unless we meet with Ming Tzu to remind him of our alliance and suggest an alternative."

"Oh he'll love that," Xena drawled.

-

"To what do I owe the unexpected pleasure, Lao Ma?" Ming Tzu asked, with a visible lip curl of disgust, when Xena and Lao Ma showed up at his palace and one of his servants ushered them into the throne room.

Lao Ma, unfazed as always, clasped her hands. "I'm assuming you had a visit from Palacus of the Scythians?"

"My visitors don't concern you." Ming Tzu leaned back against his throne.

"As we're allies now, if an enemy is trying to turn us against each other, it does concern me."

He glanced at her. "And you intend to honor this alliance?"

"My word is my bond, Ming Tzu," Lao Ma said, then looked at Xena and indicated for her to speak.

Xena cleared her throat and ignored Ming's glare. "We came to propose a joint attack on the Scythians. You made a deal with Palacus, I'm guessing, and he'll be waiting to join your forces and attack the Kingdom of Lao tomorrow morning. But if we both get in there first, our combined strength could send him running and neither of us would have to fear the nomads again."

Out of the corner of the eye, Xena saw Ming Tien peer around the doorway. When he noticed her, his eyes widened and he began to draw back. She smiled at him and he stopped in his tracks.

She then glanced at Lao Ma, who hadn't noticed this because she was intently watching Ming Tzu.

He was stroking his moustache thoughtfully. "I suppose… I didn't completely trust Palacus and it would send a good message to anyone who seeks to plunder my kingdom. What strategy do you suggest?" he asked Lao Ma.

"I want Xena to lead an attack made up of both our armies, to catch the Scythians tomorrow as they arrive to meet with your people and prepare for the raid."

Xena raised her eyebrows. This was the first she had heard of this.

"You want Xena to lead the attack?" Ming Tzu repeated.

"She is my military advisor," Lao Ma pointed out. "I trust her like I trust my own judgement."

"Need I remind you that she slaughtered half my army? And now you want her to command those who remain?"

"That's right I slaughtered them," Xena said, folding her arms. "Because I was using nomadic strategies. And the way I see it, I'm your only hope of stopping that from happening again. You need my knowledge."

Ming briefly closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Alright," he said heavily. Then he turned his attention to the doorway. "Ming Tien! Fetch General Chen."

With a nod, the child scurried away.

Xena stepped closer to Lao Ma and murmured in her ear, "Are you sure about this?"

"Like I said," she whispered back. "I trust you."

Ming Tien returned, making Lao Ma look up quickly, and was followed by a man in armor. The man entered and Ming Tien returned to his spot in the doorway.

"This is my general, Chen Buwei," Ming Tzu said to Xena and gave her a sharp look. "He is newly appointed, as my previous general was killed in battle a few weeks ago." To the general he said, "There has been a change of plan. I want you to work with Lao Ma's military advisor and army to attack the Scythians first thing tomorrow."

General Chen looked uncertainly at Ming Tzu. "Yes, my lord," he said eventually.

Xena turned to the general. "Can I inspect your troops?"

With one last glance at Ming Tzu, General Chen nodded. "Of course. This way, sir." He indicated with his hand towards the doorway.

Xena paused on her way out to look over her shoulder at him and raise an eyebrow. " _Sir?_ "

He coughed. "That is to say, what would it please you to be called?"

She grinned and tossed her hair. "The warrior princess."

"Let us go, Warrior Princess."

He led her out of the palace and to the training ground, where the men were practising their sparring in pairs using staffs. It was next to one of the palace buildings and a horse was tied to the gate.

Xena walked along the lines and examined the soldiers' form. Some gave her curious glances, others gave her outright glares. Many looked very young, likely recent recruits. They were well trained, but went through the movements without any drive. Hopefully some proper motivation would whip them into shape.

She came to a stop in front of them with General Chen by her side and shouted, "Alright listen up!" 

The troops instantly stood to attention. The nearest man, who had been glaring harder than anyone, spat on her. She took a step back but didn't otherwise react.

"I remember you," he snarled. "You and your army of barbarians slaughtered us not long ago. You killed my brother as he begged for mercy."

"I did," she admitted. "And I don't expect you to forgive me. But Lao Ma has taught me a lot since then and I'm fighting on her side now."

"I don't believe you," the soldier said. He addressed his comrades, "Are we really going to let this evil woman tell us what to do?"

"That's enough, soldier," General Chen snapped. "Stand down. All of you had better listen to what Lao Ma's military advisor has to say. Ming Tzu has allowed her to work with us and I trust you don't want to go against his orders." He turned to Xena. "Go ahead."

Addressing the troops, she said, "The Scythians will be here tomorrow morning to attack the Kingdom of Lao. Both our armies are going to drive them off. I'm here to help because, as I'm sure you noticed when we fought you, the nomads have some very particular strategies. I take it you all know how to ride and fire a bow?" They nodded. "Now, unless you can catch arrows, you don't stand much of a chance against them from a distance. So your best strategy is to take away their advantage. Ride up to them and attack with swords. I'd like to practice with - you." She spun around and pointed to General Chen. "Let's go, General."

She grabbed two staffs from the pile of training weapons and threw one to him, beckoning with her free hand. "Come at me."

She twirled her staff in one hand then caught his first swing immediately and they began a well-matched fight of rapid blows, neither managing to land a direct hit.

"Very good," Xena said between breaths. "Do you train all your men this well?"

"Just the ones I have left," General Chen replied. His blows increased in speed and intensity, so fast that Xena was struggling to keep up. "I wasn't involved in the battle with the Huns, as my services were needed elsewhere. Ming Tzu didn't tell me you had killed my predecessor."

"I've killed a lot of people." She caught his next blow full force and her staff cracked in half. As she discarded the useless weapon, General Chen used his foot to take her legs out from under her and she landed painfully on her back. Then he swung his staff directly at her head and she caught it between her palms. "I'm realising now there's no way to make up for what I've done. But I won't let the Scythians harm these kingdoms."

He continued pushing the staff down towards her throat. She watched him levelly and relaxed her arms, no longer resisting. If he wouldn't allow her to serve the Kingdom of Lao by protecting them, he might as well kill her now.

General Chen pulled his staff away and offered Xena his hand, helping her up. "I trust you truly want to help," he said quietly. "You have my loyalty, Princess."

"Why are these Scythians so scary anyway?" asked a young soldier in shiny armor.

"Let me show you. General, can I borrow your horse?" At his nod, Xena got a bow and quiver of arrows from the pile of training weapons. She mounted the horse and clicked her tongue, leading it in a fast trot around the training court.

Holding on with her legs, she spurred the horse on and notched her first arrow. She took aim at a wicker basket next to the door and released her arrow. In the blink of an eye she had a series of them in the air, point to tail feathers, all of which embedded themselves perfectly in the basket.

Since the horse was now facing away from the target, she pivoted in the saddle and continued firing. These arrows split the shafts of the previous ones when they landed.

Xena led the horse back to its original position and dismounted. "Every Scythian can do that. They've been training since before they could walk."

"Impressive," General Chen commented.

"Yeah," Xena said with a glance at her arrows. "Last time I did that I had broken legs. And I hadn't been practicing long." She turned to the army. "Anyway, the Scythians can fight with swords but not as well - therein lies your advantage. Use it. Keep practicing today and I'll see you tomorrow morning by the Great Wall."

-

It was starting to get late when Xena arrived home and found Lao Ma eating her evening meal. She sat down with a sigh and began tucking into the food that had been left for her.

Lao Ma gave her a sympathetic smile. "How did it go with Ming Tzu's army?"

"Good. They're quick learners and should be able to hold their own against the Scythians."

"I'm pleased to hear that. But we still have a lot to do before tomorrow."

Xena groaned quietly. "Don't we always?" She ate another mouthful of food. "Hey, do you have any armor I can borrow?"

"I thought you would prefer to have the blacksmith make you some of your own."

Xena looked up. "Really?"

"Really."

"In that case, could I ask for a particular design? I've been thinking about what you said and this would be a good way to honor M'Lila."

"Of course. One second." Lao Ma called Cai Lan and asked her to bring an ink brush and some parchment, which she returned with a moment later.

Xena thanked her and drew a quick sketch from memory. "M'Lila had this design on her shirt. I think it's Gaelic."

She handed it to Lao Ma, who gave an approving nod and stood up. "I think this is a wonderful idea. I'll take it to the blacksmith now. He'll get it done quickly if I ask. In the meantime, you should give our army the same lesson you gave Ming Tzu's then get some rest."

"Sure." Xena finished the last mouthful of her food and stood also. "I'll get on that now." She was on her way out of the room when Lao Ma stopped her. "Yes?"

"There was one something else I wanted to ask you," Lao Ma said quietly. "Whatever you do, it's imperative we win this battle. Otherwise more nomads or even our neighbors may take it into their heads to attack us."

"Then there will never be peace in Qin," Xena finished for her. "Don't worry, I'll do everything I can."

"Thank you."

-

Early the next morning, Xena dressed in her new armor and rode out to meet General Chen by the Great Wall. As she arrived, she tried not to look at the ground where she had made her wall of severed heads after the battle with Ming's soldiers. Just the thought of it made her feel sick. She gripped her horse's reins tighter.

"Good morning," General Chen said. He looked prepared for battle, with his sword hanging from his horse's saddle and bow in hand. "Are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be," she replied grimly and glanced behind her.

The blended army was tense, and a few were still giving her dirty looks. She might have General Chen's trust, but that didn't extend to his men.

One soldier was holding a flaming torch, part of Xena’s plan to push their advantage for all it was worth.

"Princess," General Chen prompted with tight urgency.

Xena turned back around and saw a shadow approaching on the horizon. The Scythians.

A few men behind her drew their bows.

"No," she said, turning her head slightly. "They aren't close enough yet."

At that moment, the Scythians were at a severe disadvantage. They had no idea Ming Tzu was going back on their deal and the battle was going to begin here. And they didn't know Xena had ridden with the Huns, so was familiar with their strategies. She didn't want to give that away until she absolutely had to.

The Scythians continued to approach, until Xena could clearly see Palacus at the head of their group.

"Hold the line," she ordered. "Get ready."

The soldiers held their tar-tipped arrows in the flaming torch until they caught fire.

Xena waited until the enemies were at the exact distance that she and Borias would have strung their bows. "Aim." She thrust her sword forward. "Fire!"

The army let out a hail of arrows that flew at the enemy. Some connected, causing a few Scythians to fall off their horses and others to cry out in pain as their clothing caught fire.

"Again!" Xena shouted, stringing her own bow. She took aim at Palacus, but he had seen her and leaned back until he was almost laying down, and the arrow flew harmlessly over him.

The Scythians began stringing their own bows and Xena knew it was time for the next part of their strategy. The hardest part. Her men had to ride up to the Scythians but, because they hadn't mastered the art of firing while riding, they were completely undefended. Xena would do what she could to provide cover fire until her men got close enough to attack with swords, but the Scythians were easily picking them off with deadly accuracy.

Xena used her legs to lead her horse in an arc, surrounding the fight, and fired arrow after arrow. Her quiver was becoming dangerously empty, but her focus was impeccable. Somehow she felt calm, concerned only with helping her soldiers.

Sadly, many of them fell. Before they had even drawn their swords, the fatal arrows caused them to slump forward or slide out of their saddle.

When the remaining men were close enough to begin fighting, Xena drew her own sword and rode into the fray. For a second, her grip faltered. The mere action was enough to bring back bad memories, but she didn't have time for that now. With a grim expression, she steeled herself and surveyed the battle.

General Chen was swinging his sword rapidly, trying to fend off two enemies at once. Xena rode up and quickly ran one through from behind.

"Thanks," the general said breathlessly.

Xena gave a quick nod before her attention was drawn to a Scythian swinging his sword at her head. She ducked and brandished her own sword, slitting his throat before his blade had even finished its arc.

She swung herself around in the saddle to kick his body to the ground, but instantly the nearest enemy flicked his whip at her ankles. A dirty trick she had used before - he was going to drag her behind his horse.

The whip wrapped itself around her and began pulling, forcing her to cling to the saddle before she could be wrenched away. With one hand she gripped the saddle horn and with the other she started working at the whip with her sword. It was painful, as her entire body weight was resting on one arm bent uncomfortably and jerks from the whip tugging made her grip falter.

She managed to free herself and kicked the whip off her feet, repositioning herself in the saddle and twirling her sword to readjust her grip. The same Scythian continued attacking her, so she parried and tried to fend him off.

As their swords clanged together, she glanced around the battlefield and saw that her soldiers were significantly decreased in number. Many were wounded or exhausted. But she didn’t have time to consider the best course of action, since she had to focus on this fight.

“Princess!” called General Chen. In her peripheral vision, she saw him pointing at something. As her attention was drawn away, she tried to block her enemy’s swing but her wrist wasn’t stable enough and the momentum forced it to bend. Her sword deflected his at an awkward angle and sent it directly into her thigh. 

She cried out in pain and leaned forward. The Scythian hesitated in shocked surprise, probably unable to believe his luck that Xena had effectively stabbed herself, so she quickly ran him through and scanned the battlefield for General Chen.

“Princess!” he shouted again, a few paces away from her. This time she saw he was pointing at a large portion of the remaining Scythians who had pulled back to a safe distance and were drawing their bows. It was about to be a massacre.

Lao Ma’s words came back to her. _Whatever you do, it’s imperative we win this battle._

Xena rode forwards, using only her legs.

“What are you doing?” Chen shouted. “That’s suicide!”

She ignored him and took a deep breath to gain focus. As the arrows flew directly at her, she didn’t think about it. She listened with her body. And her hands closed around the arrows before they could hit her.

She dropped them just in time to catch the next ones, and continued until she was in front of Palacus. She caught his final arrow and twirled it around in her fingers, then stabbed it into his shoulder and twisted. “Tell all your friends what happens when you attack the Kingdoms of Lao and Ming. Understand?”

Palacus glared at her and wrenched the arrow out of his shoulder. When she simply raised her eyebrows, he turned to his men and motioned for them to retreat.

As they left, Xena heard General Chen approach her.

“That was impressive,” he said. “I’ve never seen anyone catch arrows before.”

“Well, I have many skills,” Xena replied. 

General Chen smiled at her, then frowned when he caught sight of her thigh. “You’re wounded.”

She looked down and saw dark blood saturating her trouser leg. “I’m alright,” she replied and held the reins of her horse, turning back towards the palace. 

But the sight of the battlefield stopped her. Now that the threat was over, all the memories she’d been suppressing hit her like a gut punch. The intensity of it attacked her physically and she almost wretched, grabbing General Chen’s shoulder for support. “Actually, I think I need a minute.”

“No problem. I’ll talk to the troops.” General Chen made sure she was alright, then rode away. In the distance, she could hear the cadence of his voice as he addressed the survivors.

Xena remembered how she’d caused this amount of carnage with the smallest provocation. And _enjoyed_ it. Fear in her enemies’ eyes meant she was doing it right. How had she lived like that for so long?

She told herself what Lao Ma would say. She wasn’t doing this for kicks or glory, not serving her will. She was fighting for a cause, to defend Qin. That was the key difference. But was that still the case if the results were the same?

And what were the results? A battlefield littered with corpses. Lao and Ming safe from nomadic threats for the foreseeable future.

She had achieved something good by fighting. Something she hadn’t tried since Cortese attacked her village, and this time she was successful. Right?

She was startled out of her reverie when General Chen rode back over to her, and she noticed the other soldiers had returned inside the Great Wall.

“Come on,” he said. “Let’s get that leg seen to.”

She followed him back to the city. 

-

Once Xena's injury had been tended to and she had spoken to the other survivors, refusing their attempts at congratulating her, she went home and collapsed into bed next to Lao Ma.

"We won," she mumbled and closed her eyes.

She felt the bed shift as Lao Ma sat up. "Are you going to elaborate?"

Xena opened her eyes. "I did as you said, made sure we won. We lost a lot of good men but the Scythians won't trouble us again."

"I'm so proud of you, my warrior princess." Lao Ma cupped Xena's cheek and kissed her. 

Then Lao Ma lay back down and Xena rolled over to face her. "You know, it was hard being back on the battlefield. Brought up some memories I would rather not think about."

"Do you wish you hadn't fought today?"

"No." Exhaustion crept up on her and she closed her eyes again. "With the path I'm on now, I do everything I can to help others. It's not about me - it's the greater good," she whispered as sleep overcame her.

-

A few days later it was time for Lao Tzu to make his periodic appearance in the gardens. Xena figured Lao Ma must have been doing this for a while, since there was a well organised arrangement.

Two men carried him out in a special chair with handles, then helped him sit next to Lao Ma on a stone bench. The men returned inside, while Xena watched Lao Ma adjust a few pressure points which allowed him to sit more comfortably.

Xena sat down on Lao Ma's other side. "So do we just stay here for a while?"

"Not long," Lao Ma replied. "I don't want him getting cold. It's important that people see him occasionally."

They spent a few minutes in peaceful silence, admiring the nature around them, until the two men returned and took Lao Tzu back inside.

Xena stayed where she was, as the garden was her favorite place in the palace. She saw an azalea flower fall from the bush behind the stone bench and reached out to catch it, then tucked it behind Lao Ma's ear.

Lao Ma bowed her head and smiled. Then stood up and went to kneel on the ground by the pond. Xena approached and sat behind her, back to back. 

They simply sat together, still and silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As this is the Xenaverse, don't expect my depiction of Ancient China and Taoism to be entirely accurate. That said, here is some of the historical research that informed this fic. All inaccuracies are my own and historical events and figures have been fictionalised for the purposes of the story and to fit with what we saw in the show.
> 
> In terms of what historical period the Debt episodes and this fic are set in, I decided to go with the Qin Dynasty. During this time, the majority of what is now modern China was part of a province called Qin, construction of the Great Wall was begun and the ruler Shi Huangdi was buried with an army of terracotta soldiers when he died. I felt this tied in nicely with details we saw in the Debt, Purity and Back in the Bottle episodes. 
> 
> (Although the Zhou Dynasty which preceded this was when the historic Lao Tzu lived, and the Han Dynasty which succeeded it coincided with when Julius Caesar lived, so the Xenaverse's ability to condense history is in play here.)
> 
> The Qin Dynasty was a time of changes, many of which were designed to unify the state and promote commerce. This included projects such as building roads and canals, for better trade and travel. However, laborers quickly became slaves and anybody could be taken to work on these projects. There was strict control over people's lives and it was forbidden to write or speak about the previous Zhou Dynasty or any school of thought other than Legalism, which is the idea that human beings are motivated by selfishness and naturally inclined to do wrong unless they have strict laws to control their actions.
> 
> The information about nomads comes from this excellent article: http://whoosh.org/issue23/richey1.html


	2. Fate, destiny, a horse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: violence, slavery, addiction

Xena was woken by Lao Ma singing and gently playing with her hair. She kept still for a few moments, enjoying it, then smiled without opening her eyes. "Morning."

Lao Ma's song ended and she said, "Good morning, Xena. Or should I say good afternoon?"

Xena opened her eyes and, at the sight of the sunrise, drew breath to speak. But as soon as she noticed Lao Ma's smile, she laughed. "You got me there."

Lao Ma chuckled and sat up.

Xena raised her arms over her head and stretched. "What are we doing today?"

"Nothing is planned," Lao Ma replied.

"A day off." Xena flopped back against the pillows. "What a luxury. We haven't had one of those in a while."

"You're telling me." Lao Ma shook her head. "I thought those two trade ambassadors would never come to an agreement. I've never before met anybody who can still argue even though they're making the same point."

Xena pulled a face. "Don't remind me. Those two were quite a pair." She sat up. "Since we're not doing anything today, I think I'll go for a ride this morning. I've spent far too long in negotiations recently and it'll be nice to get outside."

She stood and chose an outfit from the wardrobe. By now she had been there long enough to have her own clothes, which she had requested to be plain and simple.

"What are you going to do?" she asked as she went behind the screen to get dressed.

"There are some plants that need my attention in the garden," Lao Ma replied and Xena could hear her choosing her own outfit.

Once she was ready, Xena emerged and saw Lao Ma with a red dress over one arm. "I'll see you at lunch, then."

"Don't get into any trouble," Lao Ma teased.

"I'll do my best, but you know me." Xena gave her a kiss. "See you later."

-

Xena rode out past the Great Wall and across the plains, towards an endless horizon. She clicked her tongue and stood up in the saddle as her horse Daoji broke into a gallop, whooping while the wind tousled her hair.

She hadn't felt this free in a while and had almost forgotten how fun it was.

Eventually she reached the end of the plains and entered a more populated area. She sat back down and slowed Daoji's pace. It was one thing to see the military advisor of Lao Tzu's wife out for a ride, and quite another for her to be galloping like a wild person.

On their way through a settlement on the silk road, Xena moved the reins to turn Daoji back towards the palace but her horse refused to obey. She tried again, but this time he neighed and began trotting in the opposite direction. 

"What is it, boy?" Xena asked. She knew sometimes animals sensed dangers before humans could, so was inclined to trust his judgment. He whinnied and she loosened the reins. "Alright, take me where you want to go."

That was all the encouragement her horse needed and Daoji took off at a fast trot. He carried Xena past the main route and on to a smaller road in an area lined by trees. 

He came to a stop behind a clump of trees thick with leaves and stamped his hoof, tossing his head in the direction of a wagon that had just passed. Xena leaned forward for a closer look and recognised the heavy wooden set and barred windows of the wagon. "Slavers. Is that what you wanted me to see, boy?"

Daoji whickered and pawed the ground.

"Good move." Xena dismounted. "I'll see what I can do. But I really should have brought some weapons." At Daoji's snort, her mouth fell open in surprise. "I am not going soft! Lao Ma's rubbing off on me, that's all. We'll solve this with minimum violence. I just need to think."

She tapped her chin as she assessed the surrounding terrain and began to form a plan. Choosing a reasonably sized branch, she broke it off the tree in case she needed a defensive weapon. Then swung herself back into Daoji's saddle. "Come on, boy, we need to overtake them."

They backed up a little, so they would remain out of sight from the wagon, then Xena urged Daoji on and they made good time. When they had a significant lead, Xena pulled him to a stop in front of a tree with low branches and got down. 

"Stay here," she said as she petted her horse's nose. "I'll be back soon."

With her staff in hand, she scaled the tree and carefully edged along a sturdy branch that hung over the road. Leaves meant she was somewhat concealed, and she just had to hope the slavers didn't look up.

When the wagon passed beneath her, she let herself drop and landed on the roof, remembering to bend her knees. She knelt down and used the staff to bash a hole in the roof. Once the crack was small enough, she put her fingers in and pried up a large section that went from where she was crouching to the edge of the roof.

The group of kidnapped people looked up, blinking at the sudden light, and Xena quickly held a finger to her lips.

She felt the wagon come to a sudden stop and put a hand out to stabilise herself. Since her work on the roof wasn't exactly quiet, she had been expecting this.

"Hey!" shouted one of the drivers.

"One second," Xena told the prisoners, then leaped down and brandished her staff in both hands.

The two men came running at her and she held the staff horizontal, catching them both hard on the shoulder. As they reeled from that, she hit one upside the head and knocked him out cold, before dodging a punch from the other.

When he came at her again, she thrust one end of the staff into the dirt track and spun herself around it, kicking him hard enough to send him flying over to his unconscious colleague. He groaned and tried to push himself up, then collapsed back down.

With that done, Xena abandoned the staff and checked the door to the wagon. It was heavily padlocked and she figured her fastest option was to use the hole already in the roof.

She took a run up and somersaulted on to the half that was still intact. "I'm back," she told the prisoners, who were staring at her in various stages of shock, disbelief and cynicism. "Now let's get you out of here."

A cursory examination told her that they were handcuffed, but their ankles were loose. There was just enough room to accommodate an extra person.

"Coming down," she announced and dropped into a small space. A few people shuffled over to make more room for her. Gesturing to the tallest prisoner she said, "If I give you a leg up, can you climb out?"

At his nod, she laced her fingers together at knee height. He carefully put his foot on her hands and reached up to grab the roof, pulling himself on to it.

"Everyone else, just like that," Xena said and beckoned the nearest person over. "We have to work quickly before the drivers wake up."

She began systematically helping them all out. The first man was still on the roof, offering his hand to those who couldn't reach.

"Don't wait for me," Xena continued as she worked. "Just run and get as far away as possible. Any village nearby should be happy to help you."

Soon she had gotten everybody out except for two figures huddled in the corner, out of the light. A young boy and who was presumably his mother.

"It's alright," Xena said quietly as she crouched next to them. "I'll help you."

"Why would you do that," the woman said weakly and shifted forward into the light.

At that moment, Xena recognised her and the breath caught in her throat. "Natassa." She glanced at the boy. "And Belach."

They looked terrible. Both had lost weight and Belach had a large bruise visible on his arm. Natassa was pale, shivering and barely had the strength to speak. The eyes that had glared daggers at her every time they met still contained fury, but were now red-rimmed and struggling to focus. Only Belach was handcuffed, presumably they didn't think Natassa needed it. 

Xena had so many questions, but knew it wasn't the right time for that.

Natassa coughed and her eyelids fluttered as she sank back, drifting into unconsciousness.

"Mama!" Belach exclaimed and began shaking her arm. 

"Your mother isn't well," Xena told him. "We need to get her out of here. Can you help me?"

Belach shifted away from her, closer to Natassa. "I hate you," he said. 'You took my papa away."

Xena bit her lip. "I made a mistake. But I'm trying to help you now. You want to get away from the slavers and take your mother to a healer, don't you?"

Belach nodded warily.

"Then help me pick her up."

Xena lifted Natassa while Belach supported from behind, then Xena turned so she was carrying her in both arms. She considered trying to jump through the hole in her roof, but didn't want to risk it so used all her strength to kick the door down instead. The sound made Natassa groan quietly.

As she carried Natassa outside, Belach followed closely. The other prisoners were long gone and the drivers were still unconscious.

Xena whistled for Daoji, who came obediently trotting out of the trees. She carefully placed Natassa on his back and gave Belach a leg up onto the saddle.

"Your mother is just about conscious enough to sit up, but I need you to make sure she doesn't fall," Xena explained.

Belach nodded and put his arms around Natassa. "What will you do?"

"I'll walk in front and lead the horse. We're going to where I live. There I can get your mother the help she needs." Xena turned the reins so they were facing outwards.

"Why are you helping us? Where do you live? Where is my papa?"

Xena turned and began leading Daoji, steeling herself at the barrage of questions. "I'm helping you because it's the right thing to do. I live at the palace. We're in the Kingdom of Lao and I work for the Great Lao's wife. Your father left a few cycles ago, I assume he's in the Land of the Rising Sun but I don't know for sure."

"He left? I thought he wanted to stay with you forever."

"We were together at first. But I decided to stay here and he carried on traveling."

"He likes traveling," Belach said bitterly.

Xena was glad she was in front of him, so he couldn't see the pain on her face. She had caused the two of them so much hardship, she knew there was nothing she could say.

So she kept quiet and they travelled in silence the rest of the way. Occasionally Natassa would make a pained sound and Xena was torn between wanting to increase the pace and get her help faster, or knowing that she couldn't handle moving any quicker. Ultimately she kept the same, steady pace.

When they reached the palace grounds, Cai Lan emerged from the building and ran towards them. "Lady Xena!" she exclaimed. "Who are these people? What's going on?"

"Cai Lan, I'll explain everything later but right now I need a healer and Lao Ma. Can you meet me in the spare bedroom?"

"Of course." Cai Lan gave a quick nod and rushed back inside the palace.

Xena helped Belach down, then carefully lifted Natassa into her arms, who groaned in pain and made a few delirious, half-hearted protests as Xena carried her into the palace.

When they reached the spare room, Xena laid her down on the bed. Belach climbed on next to her and tried to wrap his arms around her, but was restricted by the handcuffs.

"Here, let me get those cuffs of you," Xena said. "Hold out your arms."

When he obeyed, she took a hair broach off the dresser and picked the lock to release them. Belach rubbed his wrists, which were scraped raw from where he must have tried to free himself.

"Get the healer to look at those," Xena told him.

"Xena?" came Lao Ma's voice from the doorway.

With a grateful smile, Xena turned to her. "I know you told me to stay out of trouble," she began. "But apparently the Fates had other plans."

Lao Ma approached the bed and looked at Natassa, who had given over to full unconsciousness while Belach dozed next to her. "Do you know what's wrong with her?"

Xena smoothed the hair back from Natassa's forehead. She was cold, but covered in a film of sweat. "I can guess - withdrawal. I recognise it from when I was coming off opium my first few weeks here." She looked at Lao Ma. "I rescued them from slavers. They must have gotten her hooked on something, probably to keep her docile so she wasn't fighting as hard to protect her son." She nodded in the direction of Belach.

Cai Lan entered the doorway and ushered in an older man with a long, white beard. "The healer," she announced, then bowed and left.

"Let's see about this patient," the healer said on his way towards the bed. "Hello again, Lao Ma."

At the sound of new voices, Belach had woken up and was looking around worriedly.

Lao Ma smiled at the young boy. "Hello. I'm Lao Ma. What's your name?"

"Belach. Is my mama going to be alright?"

"She's going to be fine. The healer will take care of her. Won't you?" she added in the direction of the healer, who nodded.

"Yes, of course," he said.

"Xena and I will leave you to it, then." 

Lao Ma took Xena's hand and led her out of the room, and into their shared bedroom along the hall, closing the door behind her.

"You know those two," she said.

Xena laced her fingers. "They're Borias's wife and child."

If Lao Ma was surprised, she didn't show it. "I see."

"Lao Ma, it's my fault they're in this mess. I took Borias away from them."

"What happened?" Lao Ma asked gently.

Xena took a breath and began her story.

-

_With her bow drawn, Xena sat in the foliage and watched the two men who were waiting to intercept Borias._

_For the past few days, she had been watching their camp from afar and contemplating the best way of integrating herself into their ranks. Her opportunity had come unexpectedly when she overheard a conversation between two of them as they left the camp to get water, planning to assassinate their leader that evening when he returned alone from scouting._

_So she armed herself and lay in wait, until the sun began to set and the two double-crossers arrived at the clearing. They had chosen this place because it was far enough away from the camp that it wouldn't seem suspicious and people would assume their leader had been killed in battle._

_Xena aimed her arrow at one man and pulled the string taut. He glanced in her direction, but that didn't worry her. She was well concealed._

_As the sound of hooves approached, the man drew his sword and the orange light of the setting sun reflected off it like a beacon. Ameteur._

_Borias's horse entered the clearing and Xena waited until she was certain he would see, then let her arrow fly._

_It went straight through the neck of the first assassin and he dropped to the ground, wheezing and clutching his throat with blood dripping through his fingers._

_The other man reacted instantly, brandishing his knife and scanning the area where the arrow had come from. Xena, gritting her teeth, threw herself forwards out of her hiding place and tackled him to the ground, pinning him in place with her legs._

_"What's going on here?" Borias demanded, pulling the reins so his horse came to a stop._

_"You must be Borias," Xena replied as she struggled to restrain the would-be assassin. "These men were planning to kill you."_

_"What makes you think that?"_

_She looked up, seeing him properly for the first time. He was tall, or at least appeared to be on his horse, and had long braided hair. "I've been watching you. I think we can be useful to one another."_

_"Is that so," he said, not convinced._

_Xena felt the assassin try to wriggle out of her grip and put the pinch on him. "See?" she asked Borias._

_"You just poked him in the neck."_

_"I cut off the flow of blood to his brain." She looked down at the assassin. "You'll be dead in thirty seconds so you better start talking. Why were you planning to kill Borias?"_

_Straining for breath, he said, "I'm working for a rival warlord who wants to take over his army."_

_Xena glanced up at Borias, who stroked his chin pensively. Then she carefully got to her feet._

_"Aren't you going to release him?" Borias asked, gesturing to the assassin whose nose was bleeding into his mouth._

_She tossed her hair. "No."_

_The assassin stopped struggling and his eyes rolled back into his skull. He was dead._

_Aware of Borias's eyes on her, Xena limped over to her hiding place and retrieved her cane._

_"Since you just saved my life and killed two of my men without breaking a sweat," Borias began, "you may come with me...if you can keep up." He clicked his tongue and his horse began trotting._

_Xena bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself groaning. Then she jabbed her cane into the ground and set out after him. Her legs were throbbing already and it felt like the bones were grinding against each other, but she didn't slow down. Spite and the need to prove Borias wrong spurred her on._

_She managed to catch up with him and he glanced sideways at her. "I'm Xena," she said._

_"You already know my name," he replied._

_They remained silent for the rest of the journey. Xena was sweating and leaving heavily on her cane, her hands shaking, by the time they arrived at the camp._

_A few people came over to Borias and started talking all at once. Asking him about his scouting trip, or saying how they were starting to worry since he'd been gone so long._

_"One moment," he said, holding up a hand. They fell silent. He turned to Xena and pointed at a nearby yurt. "You can sort yourself out there and find some new clothes."_

_She nodded and went over the yurt. Nobody was watching her, since they were all busy interrogating Borias._

_Inside, she sat down and gratefully took the weight off her legs, giving them a rub. Under her fingertips she could feel the small lumps of bone. Nicklio the healer had set the breaks, but when she leapt up moments later to fight the Romans, she had undone all his work. Now she would never heal more than this._

_She looked around the yurt, which was small and had a woven rug on the ground, as well as a wooden pallet covered with animal skins._

_At one side there was a bowl of water and a cloth, which she used to wash the mud off her. Then she changed out of the sack dress from her crucifixion into a simple pair of trousers, tunic and waistcoat. Her journey to Anatolia had been so hectic there wasn't exactly time for a change of clothes._

_After killing the final soldier and declaring her new purpose in life, she had left the healer's hut before Nicklio woke up. She wasn't in much position to fight and had a long list of people all over Greece and Rome who wanted her dead, so needed to quickly get as far away as possible before she could plan her revenge._

_A member of her pirate crew was from the Steppes and had once told her about the nomadic tribes, who travelled on horseback and respected women as equal warriors. He was one of the few who never questioned her authority, even when she first became their captain._

_Going East had seemed like the perfect opportunity, so she stole a horse and travelled through Thrace, following the border of the Aegean Sea. Although it was on her way, she deliberately avoided her hometown Amphipolis. Once she reached the shore, she stowed away on a ship crossing the Dardanelles Strait. A painful reminder of her stowaway M'Lila. After that, she found herself on the Anatolian Plateau and started wandering aimlessly until she happened upon Borias's camp._

_As her reverie finished, she absently smoothed down her tunic. Just a few weeks ago she had all the wealth and clothes she could desire, but now…_

_"Xena?" a female voice called out, with a Hungarian accent like Borias. "Can I come in?"_

_"Yeah," Xena replied._

_The woman entered, carrying a bowl and plate. "We have already eaten, but I thought you might want some food." She handed them over. "You saved my husband's life, so you are welcome to our hospitality."_

_Xena looked up sharply. "You're Borias's wife?"_

_"Yes. I'm Natassa." A young boy carrying a wooden sword poked his head around the yurt flap and Natassa looked down with a smile. "Not now, Belach. Go and play for a while, alright?" The boy scurried off._

_"Your son," Xena observed._

_Natassa nodded._

_"I wouldn't think a war camp like this is an appropriate place for a family."_

_"I worry that you're right," Natassa confessed. "But Belach wants to be with his father and there's nowhere else for us to go."_

_"Sounds like quite the conundrum." Xena spooned some soup into her mouth._

_Natassa waited a moment, then when Xena didn't say anything further, she turned to leave. "You can sleep in here tonight."_

_Xena didn't look up. When she had finished her food, she arranged the furs on the pallet and lay down._

_-_

_The next morning, Xena heard people in the camp talking and clattering pots, presumably preparing breakfast._

_She got up, preemptively wincing at the ever-present pain in her legs, and smoothed down her clothes which were crumpled from the night, although she couldn't be bothered to comb her hair. She considered using her cane, but decided against it. Warriors like the Huns wouldn't take kindly to anything that could be perceived as weakness._

_As she ventured outside, a familiar woman came over to see her immediately._

_"Good morning," Natassa said. "Did you sleep well?"_

_"As well as expected," Xena replied, only half paying attention. She was surveying the camp to get the lay of the land. Most of the men were sitting around a firepit with a cauldron over it._

_"There's stew for breakfast if you would like some," Natassa continued._

_Xena said, "Yeah, thanks." She had noticed Borias near the firepit and started to head over there, but stopped when Natassa stared at her. "What?"_

_"Sorry." She quickly looked away. "I just didn't realise you were a -"_

_"Say it," Xena hissed. "See what happens."_

_Natassa put her hands on her hips. "I have done everything to welcome you into our camp and this is how you treat me?"_

_"I'm not here to make friends, Natassa."_

_"Then why are you here?"_

_"To make war." Xena left her standing there and went to get some stew._

_She ladelled a portion into a bowl and grabbed a spoon, noticing that the handle was inlaid with jewels._

_A few men sitting on logs bordering the firepit had fallen silent on her arrival, but continued their conversation when she ignored them and sat down to eat. They were recounting a story of the previous day's hunt. Apparently they had chased a boar for hours before heroically felling it and were now arguing over who deserved the pelt._

_Xena kept quiet and listened. Their way of life seemed almost constantly in the saddle, which suited her just fine. Her legs still ached while riding, but didn't slow her down. And she was a decent shot with a bow; she and Lyceus had practiced with them as children and she'd acquired one on her way East. Just like her crewmember had said, the camp housed a good number of women warriors._

_A woman came up to them now, wearing a heavy pelt and with a bow and quiver across her back. She got some stew and sat on the log next to Xena, nodding a greeting at her._

_Borias joined them a moment later and sat on the log adjacent._

_The woman spoke up quickly. "Borias. Will we be moving on soon? Some people are getting concerned."_

_"Soon, but not immediately. There are a few things I need to sort out first."_

_"Don't be too long about it. This area isn't the kindest."_

_"Neither is where we're headed, so don't rush me, Saroldu." He stood up and walked away._

_Xena watched him go and considered talking to Saroldu. But she figured that anything she said would only risk showcasing her ignorance._

_Saroldu finished her food quickly and left the firepit, then joined the rest of the clan in tidying and preparing for the day. Some began tending to horses or carving arrows, while others were running through fighting drills._

_With everyone occupied, Xena wandered to a remote area of the camp where she found a teenage boy, probably a few years younger than her, who was sharpening a sword and had another next to him amongst a pile of weapons._

_She approached him and asked, "You want to fight?" It had been a while since she practiced swordplay and she wanted to get an idea of how it would be in her new situation, when she wasn't fuelled by a haze of anger like with the Romans. Unfortunately, there was only one way to do that._

_"Fight you?" he asked disdainfully, looking her up and down._

_"Yeah, why not?" She picked up the spare sword and twirled it in one hand. "I have a few skills."_

_He considered her for a moment. "Alright."_

_She took a few careful steps back, allowing them enough room, then parried his first thrust. She managed a swing of her own before he slashed at her torso, forcing her to dodge by stepping backwards. But she lost her balance when sudden pain shot through her legs and ended up flat on her back._

_The boy pointed his sword at her neck to signal he had won, then offered her a hand up._

_Batting the hand away, she climbed to her feet. "Again," she said, readying herself into a fighting stance._

_He frowned. "Are you sure?"_

_"Again," she repeated more forcefully. This time, she was certain she could do better. Just remember what M'Lila had taught her._

_He clanged his sword against hers and she grunted. He was going easy on her, which was the last thing she wanted. She slashed at him so quickly that he stumbled back, then swung directly towards his head. He blocked it just in time to avoid an impromptu haircut and a split second later was aiming a thrust at her sword arm. She twisted her upper body out of the way and the momentum carried her into a stumble, which the boy used to hold his blade against her throat._

_She held up a hand to signal they were done for the moment and he calmly lowered his blade._

_Xena put the tip of her sword in the ground and leaned on it to catch her breath. Frustration was mounting. She could fight better than that as a child. Caesar had taken so much and left her helpless when the ability to fight was what she needed the most. The sparring wasn't even that difficult but she could barely hold her own for a few seconds._

_"Why can't I do it!" she shouted and threw her sword into the nearest tree. It stuck there, vibrating from the force of her throw._

_The boy was looking at her in concern. "Are you alright?"_

_"Not even close," she growled and went to retrieve her sword, yanking it out. "Now get ready. We're going again."_

_"I don't think that's a good idea."_

_"I haven't had one of those in a while." She tapped the tip of her sword against his. "Come on."_

_They began fighting again and a wave of intensity came over Xena. She kept going until she saw an opening, but the boy deflected her blade and she turned with the momentum. As she caught sight of a spear in the weapons pile, she had an idea._

_She ducked his next swing and dropped her sword to pick up the spear, using it to block a blow, then jammed the tip into the ground. She swung herself around it and kicked him full force to the ground. The impact startled him and caused him to drop his sword. Xena let herself down and picked the spear up, holding it above his chest._

_"Very good," he said, slightly out of breath. When Xena didn't offer him a hand, he stood on his own._

_"I hear you mostly fight on horseback," she said._

_"That's right."_

_"I should be alright then." She shrugged slightly. "Just wanted to see what I can still do."_

_"I'd say you can still do plenty." He rubbed his back. "I'll have quite a bruise tomorrow."_

_Xena nodded and began walking away. When she was out of earshot she muttered, "I just hope that's good enough."_

_-_

_Later that day, the same teenage boy intercepted Xena as she headed towards her yurt._

_She looked up at the sudden presence in front of her. "What is it?" she asked impatiently._

_The boy took a step back, like he was worried she might attack him. "Borias wants to see you in the council yurt."_

_"Did he say why?"_

_"No. Just that it was important."_

_Xena scowled. "I'd better go see what he wants. It's the big one there, right?"_

_The boy checked where she was pointing and nodded._

_Xena walked past him and approached the council yurt, throwing open the flap. "What's so important that you had to summon me like a dog?"_

_Borias and another man were sitting cross-legged on the floor of the large yurt. Xena didn't recognise the other man, who had his arms folded and was glaring at her._

_"Sit down," Borias said and motioned to the rug on the ground opposite them. When Xena didn't move and continued leaning on her cane, he cleared his throat and continued. "We have decided to present you with a challenge to prove you are worthy of riding with us."_

_Xena put a hand on her hip. "Was saving your life not enough?"_

_"It's possible you just got lucky. The Huns don't accept just anyone. We need to know you can succeed in a variety of circumstances. That you have what it takes."_

_Have what it takes. Xena wondered if he meant ruthlessness. That wouldn't be a problem. And as for fighting skills, she was deadly with a sword, bow or pressure points. In the right situation. Or maybe he meant nomadic skills, in which case she would just have to learn if she wanted to ride with them. Which she did._

_She sighed. "What do you want me to do?"_

_"There's a village nearby. I want you and Ruga to raid it and come back with their valuables. Most of the people are out on a hunting trip now, so you should move quickly," Borias said._

_Xena nodded. She had gotten plenty of practice at that during her time as a pirate. Should be easy enough. "Consider it done." She beckoned with her head on her way out of the yurt. "Come on, Ruga."_

_He continued to glare while he stood up, with such intensity that Xena could still feel it while her back was turned. Guess he wasn't too happy about being given this job._

_After exiting the yurt, they went over to where the horses were kept. The animals, as befitting their important role in nomadic life, were well treated and wore embellished covers._

_As Ruga took the reins of two horses he said, "I want you to know I never agreed to this and am only bringing you because Borias didn't give me a choice." He slapped the reins into her hand. "Don't be a liability."_

_She glared at him as she swung herself into the saddle._

_Ruga set off at a fast pace and Xena had to push her horse to catch up with him. When she did, he didn't even look at her._

_They arrived at the village quickly. It was a small collection of stone houses, which looked clean and prosperous. Like Borias had said, there was barely anybody around. A few children and old people peered out of houses at the sound of their arrival, but quickly ducked back in upon seeing they were Huns._

_Ruga's horse came to a stop and he dismounted while Xena did the same, catching herself on her cane._

_"This is the village leader's house," he explained and gestured to the largest building. His tone was flat and bored. "The village has had the best crops for years and become very rich. They keep their money in here. I've taken it once before." He led the way into the house._

_Xena followed him. "If you've taken it before, they won't keep it in the same place."_

_Ruga turned quickly and raised his hand to slap her, but she caught his wrist. He made a rough sound in his throat. "I don't need an outsider telling me how to do my job." He wrenched his hand away._

_Then he stomped over to a rug and crouched next to it, keeping Xena in his line of sight. He folded back the rug, revealing a wooden plank which he removed carefully._

_While he worked, Xena scanned the room in search of anything else valuable she could bring back._

_Light glinted strangely off a water pitcher and she went over for a closer look. Upon inspection, she realised it was made of solid gold. There was no reason for such an ordinary item to be so valuable - unless they were trying to hide their wealth by disguising it as everyday objects, to keep people like Ruga from stealing it. Not a bad strategy, actually._

_"It's not here," Ruga said. He sat back on his heels and frowned at the damp, empty hole while Xena pursed her lips in a subtle 'I told you so'._

_Standing, Ruga began muttering to himself as he walked past Xena to the door. She quickly put the pinch on him. He fell forward, hitting his forehead on the ground then rolling to the side so he was facing her._

_"Nice to know you don't think I'm a threat, turning your back on me like that," she said casually. "I just cut off the flow of blood to your brain."_

_His eyes widened and he made a choked whimper._

_"Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you." Xena used the knife she wore at her hip to cut a thick strip off the rug, which she used to tie his wrists and ankles together. She brandished her knife again and he let out a strangled scream, making her sigh. "Didn't I just say I'm not going to kill you?"_

_Her knife flashed out in movement and this time he really did scream. With that done, she released the pinch and he coughed, gasping for air._

_"Those knots aren't too tight," Xena said. "You should get out of them in a few hours and find your sorry way back to camp." She folded a small extra piece of the rug and saluted him with the knife. "See ya."_

_On her way out, she could hear him cursing and beating the ground. She ignored him and headed to the forge._

_If they had been melting down their money and valuables, it was a safe bet they would keep it somewhere easy to access. In the forge, she searched the unlit fire for a secret compartment, then checked around the anvil and various small baskets._

_When she saw no other possible hiding place, she thrust her hand into a pile of hay and heard a jangling sound as her fingers closed around a pouch. She pulled it out and opened it to see a collection of gold and silver coins. Jackpot._

_She tied the bag to the belt around her waist and returned to her horse. Ruga was still cursing a blue streak while thrashing around and it occurred to Xena that she should have gagged him as well._

_She mounted her horse and took the reins of his, leading it back to camp with her._

_Upon her return, Borias was still in the council yurt and writing a scroll. Xena unceremoniously entered and dropped the money bag in front of him. The jangle made him look up._

_She threw the cloth parcel next to it, then stepped back with a wicked grin. "That good enough for you?"_

_Borias reached for the cloth and pried it open, careful not to touch where blood was beginning to soak through. It was Ruga's finger - his middle finger, to be precise._

_He paled slightly. "Very good," he said hoarsely._

_Xena inclined her head, keeping eye contact with him. She knew she had proven herself._

_"Keep the coins," he said and threw the pouch at her, which she caught with one hand. "You've earned them."_

_That night, she found a needle and thread in her yurt and sewed the silver coins onto her waistcoat. She wanted everyone to see how successful she was. It reminded her of a similar garment she'd worn as a pirate. Of course, she hadn't made that one herself._

_During her search for supplies, she had also found a hat with a silver studded piece at the front. It suited the image she wanted and she sewed the gold coins onto the strips of fabric hanging from each side. The process reminded her of her childhood when her mother taught her to embroider. A skill from a much simpler time._

_-_

_A few days later, Saroldu rode into the camp like the Furies were on her heels. She pulled the reins of her horse and came to a stop near the firepit, drawing a concerned crowd out of their yurts._

_"The Khazars," she panted. "They're about to attack."_

_Xena, who had been sitting on one of the logs by the firepit, got to her feet. She had heard about the Anatolian nomadic tribe._

_Borias, followed by Natassa and Belach, emerged from the council yurt. "Now?" he asked Saroldu._

_She nodded and turned to check how many arrows were in her quiver, then motioned for one of the men to bring her more._

_"Everyone get armed and to your horses," Borias shouted. As people obeyed him, he turned to Natassa and Belach and hugged them goodbye._

_"Be careful," Natassa told him._

_"I always am." He looked at Belach and gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Be good for your mother."_

_As he walked away from his family, he noticed Xena waiting for him. She was wearing her bow, quiver and the sword she had taken from the teenage boy while sparring._

_"You're coming?" he asked._

_"I'm one of you now, aren't I?" She followed him to the horses._

_The Huns rode out in the direction indicated by Saroldu, the ground shaking with the force of all their hooves. Xena was exhilarated. Her first real battle since her crucifixion and she had a lot of pent-up violent urges. The only problem was that she didn't have much experience with nomadic strategies, but all her thoughts were occupied with the desire to fight._

_The Khazars met them at the edge of the valley and immediately released a wave of arrows so thick they nearly blocked out the sun. They scattered around the Huns like deadly rain, a few hitting people and horses._

_Borias began shouting instructions and the Huns charged full force at the Khazars, not giving them time to restring their bows._

_Xena was near the back of the group and watched everything closely, trying to learn as much as she could about their strategies. She noticed that Saroldu was particularly skilled, instructing her horse with barely any movement of her legs and firing multiple arrows with pinpoint accuracy._

_When the Huns got close enough, they drew their swords and began attacking in earnest. The Khazars drew their own swords and matched them in battle._

_Xena, more comfortable with a sword than a bow, wasted no time in swinging at the nearest Khazar. Suddenly he threw himself out of the saddle and tackled her to the ground._

_She landed with a jarring thump that rattled her jaw. Before she could even get her bearings, he wrapped his hands around her throat and tightened his grip. Xena frantically felt around for her sword, but it had gotten lost in the fall. Reaching up, she jabbed the pressure points on his arms._

_His hands went slack and he froze in confusion, giving her a chance to put the pinch on him. Then she grabbed him by the hair and thrust him away from her. She noticed her sword laying a few paces away on the ground and scooted over to retrieve it._

_Now that threat dealt with, she turned her attention back to the fight. From her position on the ground at the edge of the battlefield, her horse temporarily lost in the melee, there wasn't much she could do._

_In the chaos she saw Borias, unarmed, with an enemy raising his sword above his head. There was no way Xena could get there in time and her sword was no use. She grabbed the knife she wore strapped to her thigh, but he was at a right angle to her so she couldn't nail him with a straight shot. Unless…_

_She threw her knife up to catch it by the blade and hurled it with all her might. It bounced off a rock at an angle that sent it directly toward the Khazar raising his sword. His head snapped backwards as it embedded itself deep in his eye socket._

_Startled, Borias scanned the battlefield until his gaze found her on the ground. He nodded before yanking her knife free._

_She gave him a level look, then was caught unaware when an arrow whizzed past her shoulder, close enough to ruffle her clothing. From behind her came a grunt as a Khazar fell to the ground. Xena's gaze travelled up the horse in front of her to see Saroldu._

_"You've got to be more observant than that on the battlefield," Saroldu said, then threw the reins of Xena's horse in her direction._

_Still looking at her, Xena caught the reins and used her sword to get to her feet. She mounted her horse and noticed that the battle was finishing. Both sides had suffered enough losses for a retreat._

_As the survivors rode back to camp, Xena couldn't stop looking at Saroldu a few paces in front of her. That woman had some serious skills that she wanted to learn._

_Upon their arrival, Borias was greeted by a relieved Natassa while the rest of the tribe dismounted, chattering amongst themselves, and drifted over to the firepit where a meal was cooking._

_Saroldu was standing nearby and taking off her quiver when Xena approached. She looked up and smiled. "Hey."_

_"Hey," Xena said. "You did alright, saving my life on the battlefield."_

_Saroldu inclined her head, as if accepting her due._

_"You want to spar?" Xena asked._

_"Sure." Saroldu set her bow and quiver down, then started walking towards a deserted area at the edge of camp. "I'm Saroldu."_

_"Xena."_

_"You're the stray Borias picked up?"_

_"I saved his life."_

_Saroldu nodded. "I figured it was something like that. We don't let just anyone join us." She came to a stop in an open area secluded by trees. "No weapons? I could do with working on my hand-to-hand."_

_Xena shrugged. "Alright by me." Since her match with the teenage boy, she had been spending a lot of her free time working on balance and combat moves so she wouldn't be helpless in a standard fight, but she still wasn't as good as before. Hopefully soon on horseback she would be as deadly as ever._

_Saroldu got into a fighting stance. "Ready?"_

_Xena aimed a right cross at her, which she ducked._

_Saroldu brushed her hair out of her face. "Guess you are ready." She gave a swift jab, which Xena caught and used to pull her into an armlock. She swept Xena's legs out from under her, and when Xena didn't release her grip they both ended up on the ground._

_Pain shot through her legs and Xena bit her tongue to avoid crying out, releasing Saroldu and rolling on to her back. Her hands twitched towards her legs, wanting to use pressure points for some relief, but she knew that the numbness it caused would be a hindrance in battle. She only used them when it was absolutely necessary._

_Saroldu rolled away and sat up. When she saw Xena, she frowned in sympathy. "That was a dirty tactic. I'm sorry."_

_Xena waved her hand. "Don't go easy on me, our enemies won't." She gritted her teeth and stood up. It was still agonising but she had already shown more weakness than she wanted to. "Let's go again."_

_Saroldu delivered a right-left combination, so Xena feinted left then twisted in the direction of the blow. That gave her an opportunity to put her hands on Saroldu's shoulders and leap over her, twisting in the air and landing behind her, which jolted her legs and she had to lean against Saroldu's back for support while positioning two fingers on either side of her neck._

_Xena applied a little pressure with her fingertips, just enough to feel the blood surging under the skin. "I could cut off the flow of blood to your brain."_

_"That's quite a trick," Saroldu said, slightly out of breath. "Remind me not to get on your bad side."_

_"Oh, I'll remind you," Xena drawled. Her heart began pounding. She kept her fingers where they were._

_"I can hear your heart," Saroldu whispered._

_Xena retracted her hands. "How can you hear that?"_

_Saroldu leant back against Xena's chest. "Listen to the sounds behind the sounds."_

_"Oh." When Saroldu turned around, Xena reacted instinctively and their lips crashed together in a passionate kiss._

_When they pulled away, Xena grinned. "Not bad."_

_"I was hoping for better than that." She cupped the back of Xena's head and kissed her again, then abruptly stopped and turned to peer out at the trees._

_"What is it?" Xena whispered._

_"Someone's here."_

_A figure moved in the trees and Xena caught sight of a familiar face. Natassa. They made eye contact for a second and Xena's glare prompted her to quickly walk away._

_Saroldu waited until it became clear she was gone. "Well that ruined the mood."_

_Xena shrugged. The only part of the interruption that bothered her was who it was._

_"You can't use that little blood flow trick on all your enemies," Saroldu continued. "So how about I show you some of our strategies?"_

_"Sounds good," Xena said. That would be the best course of action; mastering horseback archery would cement her place with the Huns and make her a formidable warrior._

_"Come on." Saroldu went over to the main clearing to get two horses and sets of bows, then returned to their training area._

_She mounted her horse and strung an arrow. "See that mound over there?" She led her horse in a quick arc and fired three arrows directly into the mound, each splitting the shaft of the previous one._

_"Oh, you've got to teach me that," Xena said with a grin._

_Saroldu smiled. "I will. But we Huns have been training since before we could walk, so you've got a long way to go."_

_Xena strung her bow. "I'm ready."_

_They spent hours training, until Xena knew the basics and could fire arrows from horseback with something resembling accuracy._

_When they ran out of arrows and the sun was starting to set, Saroldu held up a hand to stop her. "You're a fast learner," she said. "Keep practicing and you'll master it in no time."_

_"I'm sure I will," Xena replied._

_-_

_One night, Xena was listening to the sounds behind the sounds when her attention was drawn to footsteps outside her yurt._

_Anticipating a fight, she peered out of the flap. But it was only Borias heading towards the edge of the camp. Curiosity got the better of her and she got up to follow him, taking her cane since it might be a long walk._

_When she caught up with him, he was sitting on a low rock and looking up at the night sky. From the sound of her uneven gait and cane, he must have known she was approaching for some time, but he had the decency to not turn around until she was almost directly behind him._

_He turned his torso and gave a worried glance over her shoulder._

_"Relax, I only heard ya because I was already awake." She walked around the rock and sat next to him._

_"At this hour?" he asked, watching her closely._

_She glared at him. "I don't sleep."_

_"I don't much either," he admitted and looked out at the grassland in front of them. "The stress of looking after my family and my army, planning campaigns, preparing to fight." He sighed. "Sometimes I come out here to be alone."_

_"Being in charge is a lot of work," Xena said slowly. "And a lot of responsibility."_

_She remembered the makeshift army she'd commanded against Cortese, and how everyone blamed her for the way that turned out because she'd been the leader. And her slightly more professional army after that, the majority of whom later became her pirate crew. Only to be murdered by Caesar._

_"Yes," Borias replied. From the corner of her eye, she could see him watching her. "How would you know that?"_

_She shrugged one shoulder. "I had a life before this. A few lives."_

_Cortese's raid had made her a different person, then her crucifixion a different person yet again. She remembered the facts well enough, growing up with Lyceus and Toris, sailing with M'Lila, but she couldn't conceptualise how it had felt to be that person. All she understood was the here and now. Emotional and physical pain. Bloodlust._

_"I see." Borias leaned back and linked his fingers behind his head. "I can't talk about stuff like this with Natassa."_

_"She doesn't seem like the easiest person to talk to," Xena said mildly._

_"I think she just doesn't understand the politics or reality of war. She only wants me to be a father to Belach."_

_Xena gestured to the war camp behind them. "But you can't give this up."_

_"Exactly."_

_"The violence? Or the wealth?" she asked. She recognised the glint in his eye when she spoke, it was one she had herself. "Or the feeling of power when someone is at your mercy, knowing you're going to defeat them and there's not a damn thing they can do about it." Her voice got lower as she remembered that feeling._

_Borias started to smile. "All of those. It's why I do this."_

_Xena leaned closer to him, relishing their shared ambition. At last she had found someone who recognised the bloodlust in her soul. "I understand that."_

_"I'm sure you do," he replied huskily._

_She supported herself with one arm on the rock behind her, leaning until her face was almost touching Borias's. Her voice was low. "You and I, we understand one another. We'd make an unstoppable team."_

_Borias looked into her eyes, and seemed to think for a moment. Then he pulled away. "I think I should go." He stood, then glanced at her when she didn't move. "Aren't you coming?"_

_"Nah, I'll stay here a while longer. Like I said. I don't sleep."_

_"Suit yourself."_

_She listened to his retreating footsteps and looked up at the stars. There was a lot for her to think about, but so many nights without sleep were beginning to catch up with her._

_-_

_The next day, a war council was taking place in the largest yurt._

_Xena, as a newcomer, hadn't been invited. But their conversation was loud enough to be heard from outside and she happened to be walking past while they were discussing strategy for an upcoming campaign._

_Their words caught her ear and she stayed there, listening. She couldn't believe their plans. Why waste time trying to write a treaty when it would be so much easier to get in there and take everything by force?_

_Eventually she couldn't take it any longer and threw open the tent flap. She barged in and sat down, receiving almost identical appalled looks from everyone except Borias._

_"You lot are being ridiculous," she said calmly, playing with the knife in her hand. "It would be far quicker to abandon this convoluted strategy of yours and go straight for the goods."_

_Borias gave her a long look, then turned to his army. "Leave us."_

_They walked out of the yurt, a few muttering among themselves or shooting her dirty looks._

_Borias went over and abruptly grabbed her chin in one hand, forcing her to look him in the eye. "You're drunk."_

_She tried to force him to let go by turning her head, but he held tight. "What if I am?" She snapped her teeth next to his thumb, making him pull back. "I'm still in full possession of my wits and I'm not going to proposition you." She glanced at him and winked. "Yet."_

_He didn't respond to this last comment. Instead he released her arm and straightened up, then said quietly, "What happened to you?"_

_Xena looked down and when she spoke, her voice was raw. "Have you ever seen someone crucified, Borias?"_

_He hesitated. "No."_

_She shrugged and tried to twirl the knife, but her reactions were sluggish from the drink and the blade sliced her thumb. "When a victim is on the cross, it's customary to shatter their legs. It's supposed to be a mercy. If they can't push themselves up to get enough air, they'll die of asphyxiation rather than waiting until they starve." She looked at him. "But it isn't a mercy if they survive."_

_As Borias swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbed up and down. "How did you survive?_

_With a sardonic smile, Xena spread her hands out. "Guess I'm just lucky."_

_"Really," he said, eyeing her warily._

_She caught sight of the map on the table and turned it to face her, noticing the small figurines representing possible targets. Suddenly an idea formed in her mind, startling her with its intensity. "I see you're considering travelling East. You know what would be a great conquest?" She pointed. "Qin. I hear they have a lot of riches."_

_"I hear they have a lot of armies," he corrected._

_Xena scoffed. "Are you afraid of a challenge?"_

_"No, I'm concerned that it's too far away. I could never feed and transport my army all the way there."_

_"There's more than one way to skin a cow, Borias. Who says we need an army?"_

_He folded his arms. "I say."_

_She shot him a look, then went back to studying the map and jotted something down on one of the blank scrolls. "Have a look at this proposition. We'll plunder Qin and I promise I'll make it worth your while."_

_When she finished writing, he brushed the scroll onto the floor and grabbed her by her upper arms. "You aren't in charge here, Xena."_

_"Oh come on, Borias. Is this -" She gestured around them "- all the life you want?"_

_He looked into her eyes. "And what life do you want, Xena?"_

_"Me?" She lowered her voice. "I want to lose myself in vengeance against the entire human race." She kept eye contact with him while feeling around the table for her knife, which she held against his throat. "And you're going to help me get it."_

_He stole the blade out of her hand and spun her around into an armlock, making her gasp. "I don't think so, Xena. I won't be used. And what makes you think wanton violence will achieve anything? It will just go on and on, as you leave a trail of destruction in your wake, searching for something you'll never find."_

_"You seem to know a lot about this," she said breathlessly. "You're describing exactly what I want."_

_"I've struggled with this life myself."_

_"But I'm not quite like you." She used the armlock to flip him onto the ground. "I happen to enjoy senseless violence and you will too if you travel with me. Causing as much chaos as we can and becoming rich. What do you say?"_

_"I say you're out of your mind."_

_"I'm not. It's my destiny."_

_"Destiny? Where did you get an idea like that?"_

_The sound of that word caught her unawares and she sat back, releasing him. Had she really just quoted Julius Caesar? "Just something somebody said," she replied in a carefully light tone._

_She stood and picked up the scroll, putting it on the table. "At least think about my proposition."_

_"I'll consider it," he said. "But I'm not promising any more than that."_

_That's all I need, Xena thought as she exited the yurt. Now she had planted the seed, she was certain she could persuade him._

_-_

_The next day, Xena walked past a group of sparring men and saw Borias leaving a tent with a map in hand. He must be deciding where to go next, which meant Xena needed to move quickly if she wanted to convince him to leave with her. She threw her cane aside. She would only get one shot at this and didn't want to appear weak._

_She approached Borias and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, smiling when he flinched and turned to look at her. "It gets lonely at the top."_

_"You push your luck, Xena."_

_"Always."_

_He elbowed her, making her release him, then glanced out at the camp. "Natassa will see us." He turned his attention back to the map._

_"She knows what kind of man she has." Xena put a hand on her hip, ready for business. "Have you had time to consider my campaign?"_

_"Toward the East?" He tilted his head towards her but kept his eyes on the camp. "I've told you, I can't feed and transport my army halfway across the world."_

_Xena walked past him and folded her arms. "That's why we leave your army and start from scratch in the East."_

_He caught up with her and put a hand on her shoulder. "After I've paid off all my men and divided the treasure among them…" He trailed off as realisation hit him, then forcibly turned her to face him. "You want to just take off and keep everything for us."_

_Finally, he was getting it. "By the time anyone finds out where we are, we'll be so formidable they wouldn't dare come after us." She saw him glance over at the sparring group. "They're thugs, Borias. They'd slit your throat for a dinar."_

_"This campaign would take me away from Natassa." He tightened his grip on her upper arms. "You and I would be together a long time."_

_"For all time." She lowered her voice, knowing it was time to make her final play. "So, do you wanna live here in squalor…" She spun him around so he was near his yurt. "...or ride to glory with me?"_

_He shoved her arm slightly to lean in closer and she hesitated, unsure if he was going to agree or tell her to get lost. "How can I decide when I've never ridden with you?"_

_She shouldn't have doubted, her persuasion tactic was perfect. She grinned and beckoned with her head to his yurt. "Giddy-up."_

_He scoffed slightly and she quickly walked over to his yurt, with him following closely._

_Once they were in private, they wasted no time in giving over to their passion. Borias sat and Xena swung her leg over so she was almost sitting in his lap. He ran his hands up her back and kissed her, then brushed her hair back so her coin hat slid off._

_She kissed him back and was beginning to make out when light from the yurt flap caught her attention. Irritated, she figured she should probably deal with it and stopped what she was doing. "Wait just a minute," she murmured._

_"What are you doing?" Borias said distractedly, not stopping_

_Xena pulled away slowly. "I'll be back in a minute." By that point she knew the visitor's identity and wasn't happy about being interrupted, she just wanted to get rid of him as quickly as possible._

_She grabbed a blanket and threw it over Belach's head, then picked him up and struggled to carry him away. As she threw him down on a pile of trash, she said, "Word of advice for ya, kid - never step between two people and their passion."_

_With that done, she returned to the yurt where she and Borias picked up there they left off._

_The next interruption was more expected - Natassa. Borias continued enjoying his passion with Xena until he noticed the light and realised what was happening._

_Natassa looked furious and Borias paused in time to see her storm away. He shoved past Xena and followed his wife._

_Xena leaned back and couldn't resist a smirk at how well things had worked out. As she stood up, she heard Borias shouting after Natassa. Xena exited the yurt, aware that she looked dishevelled in a way that suggested what she had been doing and not caring at all._

_"What can you say to me?!" Natassa was saying angrily. "Me and your son?" Borias reached for Belach but she slapped him away. "Or that whore?!"_

_Xena calmly put her coin hat back on and adjusted it, relishing her victory._

_"You must choose, Borias!" Natassa said._

_"If you were more of a woman, I wouldn't have to choose!" Borias shouted._

_Natassa blew a raspberry in his face and he took a few steps back, fuming._

_Xena, aware that there was only one way this could end, mounted her horse and tried to instruct it with her legs. When that didn't work she clicked her tongue instead and trotted over._

_Natassa was shielding Belach from Borias, who began to retreat. At the sound of hooves he turned and she offered her hand, then pulled him up on the horse behind her._

_They began to ride away, but Belach shouted after them, "Papa!"_

_Borias tapped Xena's shoulder, indicating she should stop, so she pulled the reins._

_Out of the corner of the eye, she saw Borias rip off his medallion and throw it to Belach. She waited a moment, then figured they'd had enough time and spurred the horse on._

_She had really done it now._

-

"I can only imagine what happened to the Huns without Borias," Xena said numbly. "Of course, that didn't even cross my mind at the time."

Lao Ma guided Xena over to the bed. "Here, sit down."

Xena, who was feeling slightly light-headed, sat and put her head in her hands. "What do I do now?"

Sitting next to her, Lao Ma said, "You do what you can to help Natassa and Belach. Once Natassa is well enough, I think you should talk to her."

Xena looked up. "Like she'll listen to me."

"It's worth a try. Isn't it?"

Xena let out a breath. "I suppose."

A familiar knock came at the door and they both called for Cai Lan to come in.

She entered and said, "The healer has gone. He agreed with your assessment of withdrawal and gave Natassa some herbs. She's resting now. Belach wants to stay with her, but I think it would be better if she had some time alone to recuperate."

"I agree," Lao Ma said as she stood. "Come on, Xena." She smiled at the maid on her way out. "Thank you, Cai Lan."

Xena followed Lao Ma into the spare bedroom and watched as she smiled at Belach, who was sitting on a chair by the bed.

"Belach, would you like to come with me and see the garden?"

He shook his head. "I want to stay with Mama."

"Your Mama is sleeping now, she needs time to rest at the moment. If you come with me, I'll bring you back to see her whenever you want."

"Alright." Belach jumped off the chair and took the hand Lao Ma held out for him, allowing her to lead him out into the hall. 

While they spoke, Xena had been adjusting Natassa's blankets, which had become scrunched up from her movements. When she was about to leave, she felt a clammy hand cover her own.

Natassa was looking at her intensely and whispered, "Why are you helping us?"

Xena swallowed. "I've learned to clean up after myself."

Natassa made an unreadable sound and drifted back to sleep.

Once she had adjusted the blankets one last time, Xena followed the others into the garden and walked a few paces behind while Lao Ma, still holding Belach's hand, pointed out the different plants and animals. 

They both looked so happy and the sight felt to Xena like a knife in her chest.

Belach could have been like this all the time instead of growing up in slavery, if she hadn't taken his father away in her selfish rage. 

Lao Ma cared deeply about her son, Ming Tien, and wanted desperately to show him a mother's love. And not only had Xena kidnapped and imprisoned him as a manipulation tactic, but she would also have killed him if she didn't get what she wanted.

She was poison to everyone around her.

No, she told herself vehemently. You do good now. So that must mean you are good. You didn't kill Ming Tien and you rescued Belach.

"Coming your way, Xena!" Lao Ma called as a small branch landed near her feet.

She bent down to pick it up, then threw it to Belach who was holding his hand out. His shirt shifted as he moved to catch it and revealed the medallion Borias had given him the day they left.

You have changed, Xena.

-

Xena was expecting it when Cai Lan informed her that Natassa was feeling stronger and wanted to speak to her.

She stood outside the spare room and took a few breaths to prepare herself. She had been less afraid to enter battle. Then she squared her shoulders and entered.

Natassa was sitting propped up with pillows and gestured for Xena to sit on the chair by the bed. "I wouldn't have thought you'd come back," she said. "I don't have another husband for you to steal."

Xena flinched, but said nothing. She deserved that.

"I want you to know I'm only accepting your hospitality for Belach. I'd rather be in chains than in your debt."

"You owe me no debt," Xena said quickly, then looked down. "Believe me I know how inadequate this is but - I'm sorry."

Natassa scoffed. "You expect me to believe an apology from the great Xena."

Xena shrugged. "I can't make you believe it."

Blinking, Natassa seemed to pause for a moment.

Knowing she wasn't going to get a better opening, Xena cleared her throat. "Natassa… what happened after Borias and I left?"

"What do you care?" Natassa spat.

Xena looked at her levelly. "I care." She softened her gaze. "Tell me, please."

Shifting positions, Natassa folded her arms. "Without my husband to command us, the army broke up. When the slavers came, we tried to fight back but we weren't strong enough. They killed anyone who put up too much of a fight and took the rest of us."

"What of Saroldu?"

"She was stabbed trying to defend us. I don't know if she lived."

Xena nodded, unable to speak.

Natassa continued, "We were chained, starved and beaten. Every time that wagon stopped at a new place, more prisoners were taken. Some of them told us of Borias's exploits cutting across the East with you. I told Belach what monsters you both were."

"He still has his father's medallion," Xena said in a carefully neutral tone.

Natassa scoffed. "Not for sentimental reasons. Only as a reminder not to become like him."

Xena swallowed and nodded, her throat hurting with the effort of suppressing tears.

When Natassa tried to move, she let out a pained moan and gingerly returned to her original position, pressing a hand to her head.

"How are you feeling?" Xena asked.

"Terrible. Pounding headache, nausea and this is the first day I haven't been shivering."

Pulling a sympathetic face Xena said, "It'll pass. I have to say I don't miss it at all."

Natassa looked at her curiously. "You're familiar with this?"

"Withdrawal, yeah. I was addicted to opium when I first came here."

"Why am I not surprised," Natassa muttered.

"My legs were shattered. Smoking opium was the only thing that helped the pain and the memories. But Lao Ma persuaded me I didn't need to be reliant on drugs. She healed my legs and, much more than that, she healed my soul."

"And what, she helped you see the error of your ways?"

"That, and gave me a new path. I follow the Way. I'm the military advisor to the Kingdom of Lao and serve Qin. They call me the warrior princess."

Natassa laughed slightly. "They would call you that."

When Natassa's eyelids began to droop, Xena stood. "I'll leave you to rest."

"Xena?" came Natassa's quiet voice, making her pause.

"Yes?"

"This is not forgiveness."

"I never thought it was." Xena left the room before the tears could fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Xena's horse, Daoji, is named after an ancient Chinese Buddhist monk who was forced to leave the order because of his wild behaviour, which involved eating meat and drinking wine. He then became a traveling hero who helped people in need and stood up to injustice. He supposedly had supernatural powers and has become a legend in Chinese culture.
> 
> Information Xena's travels comes from this excellent article: http://www.whoosh.org/issue29/rodliffe1.html
> 
> I decided that Xena met Borias and the Huns in Anatolia (Turkey), since according to the map shown in the Debt she never goes to Hungary and the overlaid clips of raiding and pillaging begin when her path reaches Anatolia, so presumably that's when she joins their army.
> 
> The Khazars were a semi-nomadic Turkic people who dominated the Western Eurasian Steppe and later established a major commercial empire covering the southeastern section of modern European Russia, southern Ukraine, Crimea and Kazakhstan.
> 
> Similarly, the Scythians who featured in the previous chapter were also a nomadic tribe who dominated the Steppe. They were based in modern-day Ukraine and Russia, and frequently invaded the Middle East.


End file.
